For many men dating a single mom is like navigating a busy street in a foreign country. All of their tried and tested dating rules suddenly don't apply and the beautiful single mom before them is as mysterious as the Egyptian Sphinx. If you have fallen for a single mom or are dating a single mom use these tips to make sense of that fascinating mind of hers.
Single mothers are often torn between their two identities – that of a loving and attentive mother and that of a single woman. The two naturally conflict with each other. If you're dating a seasoned single mother you may find she is a lot easier on herself about dating you, and allowing herself appropriate time to spend with you. But women new to single motherhood may still be learning how to balance their new dating life with their job as a full-time single mom. Be patient while she adjusts and when she expresses her emotions or feelings about dating as a mother the best thing you can do is listen. Never take it personally unless she is clearly saying or doing things to hurt or upset you.
The Ex Factor
One of the most troubling hurdles for men to overcome when dating a single mom is the fact that the ex-husband or boyfriend may still be around, caring for his children. Trust me when I say, you have no reason to be jealous or worried about any kind of relationship developing if you are dating a seasoned single mom. If you are with a very recently single mother she may still have feelings for her ex, after all, they did have a child together. Be careful and watch for signs that she really isn't over him but make sure you communicate any concerns you have with her directly. Chances are you're probably just being paranoid. And chances are also that she will understand. Dating someone when an ex is still in the picture, even moreso when it is her child's father, can be a bit awkward at first.
Don't Even Bother With the Games
Guess what? Single moms have much, much more to worry about than when you're going to call next. Her hands are full as it is so throw the games out the window. Playing them can back fire dramatically when she decides you're more trouble than you're worth. I actually called it off with a guy who I was fairly certain liked me but he kept playing hard to get and would wait an hour or two to return my text messages or phone calls. I liked being with him as well and there could have been something there, but I just couldn't deal with the manipulation of my valuable time. Above all else, dating single moms appreciate your honesty.
Your Actions Speak Volumes
Before I had children, a man's choice of restaurant for a date would turn me on. But now it's the sight of a man taking my garbage out that does the trick. Seriously. Help her out around the house, even if it's late at night when you're dropping her off after a date. Little things like that will earn you major, major brownie points. Don't just say you care, prove it by stepping up and helping out around the house and in her life.
We Don't Need a Rescue
Many men are scared to date single moms because they imagine she will be clingy and want to settle down immediately. This is a myth. In reality, most men find dating single moms to be entirely refreshing because the single moms typically have no interest whatsoever in settling down with a man until they get to know him. And as far as wanting to be rescued... perhaps some of us feel that way, but most of us single moms are just fine with our man-free lives. In fact, your biggest challenge may be proving your worth!
Find more tips on How to Date a Single Mom on Alaina's blog, Ms. Single Mama.com.
By Alaina Sheer of SingleEdition.com for SingleParentMeet.com
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